A Course in Forgetting: This book

Okay, so another part of the document came through! Remember when I was questioning the idea of the book? Well, this felt very playful because it just mentions book over and over again. May all the answers to all of my questions be so obvious! I find a difference in the way this comes through me. The “regular” messages here come first in the form of an outline that I receive easily when I am standing in the shower. I have Google Keep open on my phone, and I just grab it and note the several sentences that come through. Then when I sit down to receive the rest of the message, it comes very quickly and easily. I just type.

This is different. With the “regular” messages, I get to decide when I receive them. I can stop for days, although it is never very comfortable when I do. It comes when I am willing to allow it, and it comes very quickly.

These messages just seem to snatch me out of my day, randomly. And I somehow know it’s time–right now–to sit and receive. I can’t slot it neatly into a morning before everyone wakes up. I don’t control it. The first sentence will ball-peen-hammer in my mind until I sit down to let it out. When I have a message from Spirit for someone, it’s the same way. The ball-peen-hammer taps, gently but patiently, until I just agree, until just agreeing becomes the easier thing.

When I sit down to write, it can be very fast, or there can be these big pauses. I know I’m not finished, but I have to sit still and be patient. Frankly, I’m not used to needing this level of patience. While I sit still, I will catch myself trying to figure things out, but this message won’t be written by me. I just have to wait until it comes. It takes me deeper and deeper, and I appreciate that.

I’m writing about how this process is different because it’s a reflection of moment-to-moment guidance in my own life. Guidance is taking over everything, and I can see that even as I fight it out of defensive habit, it’s what I want to allow.

I have tried to keep family and message separate, trying to make sure that “I,” as I conceive myself to be, am here and present to carry out the duties that I have to carry out. This was my primary point of resistance from the very moment of my “big” experience in March of 2010. My light friends seemed to be asking me to leave. “No, I’m not leaving,” I replied. “I have to take care of my family! I’ll let you come through me, but I have to be here to do my job.

Now I’m getting the joke. Now I’m laughing. Come through me? You can come through me however you want to come through me. You can handle everything. Of course you can be me. You always have been. There’s not some special me that has to stay here to do the dishes.

The message comes through randomly as it also handles the rest of the day. There is no blocking it out to handle something else. All is handled by the same thing as I allow it. The pain I feel when I don’t allow it is too intense. There is one way forward, but it’s a very helpful and gently caring and carrying way. Trust is called for, and trust deepens.

***

This is a book of laughter and forgetting. It’s a book you never needed, and the last one you think you’ll need. 

This book is your companion as you learn to see the light everywhere and laugh. This book is your companion as you learn to look upon all gently as your gentle companions. 

This book is here as you drop the fear, and this book won’t matter anymore when you have dropped it. 

This book is a presence, stalwart and strong, that stands by you as you let fear go. This book is a friend who holds your hand, resting sweetly in the light as you let go of everything that isn’t the light. 

Everything that isn’t the light–it’s only a surface. You only let the appearance go. You don’t let your friend go. You don’t let you go. You only let the appearance go. It was the form you thought you needed to see. That is all. 

This book is as flexible and graceful as the wind, and it assumes any form you want to see. It teaches you that the form is always simply what you want to see.

Terror or grace? The second is Real, the first only a phantom. This book, your friend, teaches you to look past what you wanted to see to what is Real. What you wanted is in the past. What is Real is Here. 

This book doesn’t fool you. It will never, ever tell you that what you look upon is what somebody else wanted. This book gets Real with you because the Real is eternally harmless. 

***

A Course in Forgetting is a shared document. If inspiration carries you there to add, edit or delete, you’re in the right place:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1xlkj9eJERi8AiYpT36LOTbssWEJXUWSryFcWa34z9kU/edit?usp=sharing


Drawing by my daughter Vi 💚

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