Julie and Jesus: I was so reluctant to do this, and it was so easy when I did

I got the call to reach out to Jesus, and I felt very resistant to it. I reached. And reached and reached. It felt empty, and I felt alone. More and more, I feel I have to reach deeper, to go seemingly further into the stillness than I have before.

And now here’s a presence. You don’t feel like Jesus.

What do I feel like?

Complete neutrality. Here, deep in the stillness, which I am learning to recognize as Love, there is no movement. There is no back and forth when I look upon you. The back and the forth is the attempt at an escape that will never succeed. The stillness is the Real, and I look upon it as I look upon death. I think the vacillation and the distraction is life, but I feel willing to allow your Stillness to run the show.

Where you seem to be a Jesus, with more personality, is where you’re walking with me in the world, giving me instructions about daily life.

You’re accustomed to dealing with personalities, and I can show up in this way. But what I Am is what you Are is what all Are, and we Are this stillness. This stillness is Love. It’s Home.

And yet the laughter.

The laughter releases the tension of attempting to turn away from that which you can never leave. We leave what isn’t and can’t be real, and we leave it in laughter.

Can you do me a favor? Whomever you think of today, whomever you meet, can you see me standing beside them?

Nope. They might not like you. I wouldn’t want to impose something on them that they wouldn’t want.

Project much? What am I?


What are you?


What are they?


Is it okay to see Love standing next to Love?

It’s okay. What about imposing Christianity on someone?

Are you a Christian? Am I a Christian? Does the stillness leave room for anyone to be anything than what they truly Are and always have been?

It doesn’t.

So to see me standing next to them is not to impose anything upon them. It’s just to see a reflection of the present help that is always here for you. Can you trust me enough to play this game today?

I can. As they Are, they are the complete neutrality you Are. Anything else I see is the distraction and noise the ego would have me see.

When you look upon them with the intention to see me, will you necessarily see a Jesus body?

I can see I might just see light.

And that is enough. When you put them with me, you put you with me. When you put them with me, you leave me in charge of how you see them, and you leave me in charge of how you see the one you call yourself.

Being in charge is very important to you, isn’t it?

Project much?


Because I don’t believe I am anything in particular–a separate self–I am not attached to pain or pleasure. You want that which is unattached to unreality to lead you back to Reality, don’t you?

I do. I want to be led.

Do you agree to be led with the goodness without opposite in all of them?

Shit, no. I don’t like them. Oh.

That’s not really you speaking. It’s you allowing fear to speak for you.

I can see how it is a joy to be led by the goodness without opposite in all of them. But what seems to be this defensive layer fights it.

Look beyond what you see as your defensive layer, which has always been nothing.

Fuck that. It keeps me safe from assholes.

You know the habitual protective layer is nothingness that feels like somethingness. Is it safer to rely upon nothingness for your protection or what is Real?

Well, when you put it that way I can see your point. I might put my own agenda in front of seeing you with them.

That’s what feeling is for. You can feel when you have put your own agenda first. And of course it is not your own agenda. Is is the agenda of nothingness. Your true agenda is the plan that leads all Home.

I can feel the truth of this. I feel kind of robotic and slow.

You can feel the difference of not having the back and forth and the viciousness present, the separate self agenda. It doesn’t feel like hearts and flowers at first because you are accustomed to such dizzying movement. You are accustomed to relying upon it and seeing it as yourself. You are accustomed to looking at another and seeing the back-and-forth as what they are. See me beside them today, and see the goodness-without-opposite that they always have been.

Every time you look at another or think of another, it is an opportunity to practice.

I can see Your extensions instead of projections.

Our extensions. If you’re looking at projections, you’re looking at nothingness. Time is for learning to look upon extensions. This is how you let the nightmare go, and I am with you always.

6 thoughts on “Julie and Jesus: I was so reluctant to do this, and it was so easy when I did

  1. “There is no back and forth when I look upon you. The back and the forth is the attempt at an escape that will never succeed.” I have imagined this back and forth….blinking, off/on or in/out. Then I imagine I’m a pendulum in a rather teeny tiny grandfather clock that is winding down to Silence and Stillness and when this occurs there is no thing…..

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You may not have intended for this to be humorous, but I had a few ‘laugh out loud’ moments while reading this. Jesus seems to hard to handle for many because the external world crams him down our throats. My relationship with him is very unchurch-like and I’m not going to apologize for it.

    Liked by 2 people

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