Talk: Behind the illusion of ego love

You are here to notice the disdain for the perceived other that is hiding behind the illusion of ego’s love for the perceived other 💚

Transcript below

Hello, I have today a talk called “Behind the illusion of ego’s love.”

So the first statement I have is “You are here to notice the disdain for the perceived other that is behind the illusion of ego’s love for the perceived other,” and this is really interesting to me. It’s helping me go deeper. So on top we have the illusion of a special love for someone: I love you because of your special qualities and by association with you, maybe I will feed on you and get what separate-I wants from you.

So that’s what’s going on there. It can be hard when ego love seems to be all you know–although we all know actual love–to understand underneath this illusion of I-can-get-something-from-you. There’s something special about special people, and I’m going to try to feed off that and then find security and peace in that. Then I will hate the others or or compare you to others and find you better and sometimes find you worse. Because ego love can turn to ego hate, so right beneath this false love is disdain.

The word disdain came through, and I could really feel the pushing against. If I have disdain for you, I’m pushing against you. I’m pushing away. I know you’re separate, and that’s what I’m seeing. I’m seeing the space between us. I’m not seeing that we’re one, so all the special love of ego is is worthless because underneath it is is hatred and fear and disdain.

As we dismantle the egoic identities we’ve built for ourselves and let those go, and the egoic identities we built for everyone else and let those go, then it becomes apparent there’s this hatred under the love. The love is fake, but we’ve always known known in our hearts true love. True love is not anything we can judge, like “Those guys over there like know or don’t know what true love is,” or “Those guys over there are doing this or those guys over there are doing that.”

You’re joined with them forever. You Are Love. They Are Love, and you’re joined by love forever. That’s true love, and there’s no special love. True love is just a recognition and a deep security and a reason for hope in every perceived situation. The only thing we’ve layered on top of actual love is a fantasy. Actual love will always be actual love without comparison, without disturbance. Actual love will always be that. It can’t be touched. It can’t be disturbed. We can layer on top of that a fantasy of fear. What keeps this fantasy of fear and hatred hidden is the frosting we’ve put on top of our disdain for each other, separating each other out into separate persons with differing values and limited shelf lives.

We put this frosting of ego love on top. Ego love is “You’re my special friend. You’re my special romantic partner,” and it doesn’t mean I have to wade in there and try to just deny or destroy any relationship I think I have. It’s more like it expands so I understand I’m in a relationship with everyone, with everything at all times. It’s the same relationship, and it’s the relationship of holiness and innocence that we share, so it’s not like I have to destroy any relationship. It just deepens to be inclusive and true.

It was very interesting that the word disdain came through because that really helped me see that kind of shoving away seems to be an action, and in the mind I shove you away from from me and then I judge you. I can judge you especially positively because I’ve shoved you away from me, and I’m looking at you from over here. I can judge you especially negatively for the same reason, but I don’t have to fool myself anymore about you or about anyone I call else.

There’s the relief of the actual relationship we all have with each other forever. Everyone loves everyone 100%, full stop, because true love cannot be destroyed. Actual love always exists and is always the true nature of all beings and even everything, if you want to get into objects that look separate or even concepts or ideas behind the surface that fear is projecting. I’m using fear to project differing surfaces and values on things that look different and separate.

There is only love and light always and completely. We learn to relax into and live in this. I understand I can’t make decisions for myself, but every decision or every guiding force comes from this love we share. I don’t have to let my guidance and my action come from the fear, the fantasy I have been projecting on top of love. I don’t need to feel guilty that I’ve been projecting hallucination on top of the love everyone and everything is. I just need to relax out of it because it is a dream. It is a fantasy, a hallucination. It’s not real, so the most important thing is that I just relax into and come back to myself, that I see you as you Are and remember myself as I am.

There’s no need to be guilty about something that was always imagined and that was never real, that never had real existence. In this world, in this experience ego, will send me many assumptions, and then on top of that I will build my structure for projecting fear out onto everyone and everything and therefore myself. The separate self seems to take shape and be real. Separate things seem to take shape and be real because of the the fear I’m projecting out.

I’ll notice I have assumptions about the world around me, about the separate ones around me, the ones who look separate. I can submit every assumption to this test: Holy Spirit, is it true? And I can just rest in Holy Spirit. Any thought that comes in–Holy Spirit, is it true? And then just rest knowing I don’t know anything.

I can be returned to knowing through my willingness to be returned to the knowing we’ve always had, but we’ve been blocking out by projecting fear. As I’m returned to the awareness of what I am, I naturally extend love. Love extends forever. That’s what love does, so then I start to perceive that my perception changes. What I need here is perception correction. If you are love, you extend forever. If I am love, I extend forever. Love doesn’t project. Projections are the fantasy, the projection of fear, the projection of hatred.

When they are not needed leaves fall off a tree. There’s this tension involved in projection and making an illusion, making a dream, making a hallucination, making a fantasy. There’s this tension, and it’s filled with all of these assumptions. Each assumption feeds this idea that I know what is real and I must defend myself, and I must attack others. Each assumption feeds this idea that I have to keep up this wall of defense.

When all that isn’t needed it just falls down because you know you’re resting in the peace and gentleness and security of what everyone Is. You know the only thing that’s true about anything. You know you’re resting in that, so all these defenses fall down. Every day we get the opportunity to just rest and let our defenses fall down and know we’re safe, resting in love.

We can be inspired from there, so the new growth of new leaves is right here under the disdain. We let go of everything we thought we knew before like all the leaves falling off a tree in the fall, and then it seems like we have bare branches. We’re thinking, “Where’s my stuff?” and “What’s going to happen?”

There’s this uncertainty because we haven’t allowed the new to come in and express itself. The new growth of new leaves is right here under this disdain when we’re feeling our disdain for others, our desire to set them apart and judge them. Yes, history might give you every reason to judge them separately as having particular qualities or as having been the cause of your experience in some way, but history is what we made up from fear we’re projecting. We can extend from Love, from what we actually Are.

We can project personal characteristics for ones we call other and personal histories for ones we call other and use facets of this and call it logic, but it’s the logic of hatred. It’s the logic of a hallucination. Or you can relax into what you Are and what they Are and what everyone and everything is forever and allow Divine logic to operate.

So this is our time to allow, to relax, and to allow Divine logic to operate. This is our time to allow the new growth of the new leaves and to know we’re loved, to know all are loved. I think that’s all I have right now. Wishing you all well today, and happy healing.