One morning last week, this message came through:
This is a course in forgetting. This is a course in remembering that the past isn’t real so you can allow the world to come alive all around you. Instead of what you wanted to see in hate, you now allow the world to show you in love.
This process does not have to take a long time, and it all depends upon the expansion of your willingness. Are you willing to forget the old, the past that never actually existed, in order to allow a new, a reflection of that which you Are, to arise in your sight?
This book represents a continuation of my A Course in Miracles at a time in which it is most needed.
This scribe is not fearless, but she has learned enough during the time when I have been working with her to hear a directive and to follow a directive. It is enough. This scribe has a willingness to face fear and to let go of fear, and this, too, is enough.
This course is not intended to replace A Course in Miracles or any of my other collaborations with my beloved family. It is simply a note in the harmony that carries you Home to the full awareness of your Self.
Allow all of the past to become this one harmonious song, and pick not out one note and pretend that you are holding something real. The Real is here to assist you, always and in all ways. The Real is reflected back to you in your world as you allow it to be so.
I shared it in a Facebook group and with a few friends, and then immediately after, I got the guidance to make this a shared and editable document, open to anyone with the link. It felt very beautiful, so I went along with it. Later on that week, when I was in a Zoom meeting with a friend, the way this message was phrased echoed exactly something he was saying, and it all felt so helpful.
From here, I noticed myself trying to predict a future, trying to analyze or decide. I noticed doubt creeping in.
– Am I supposed to do more? Will more come through?
– Will someone add to the document?
– Will someone add rude things to the document or delete it entirely?
– Will someone change it in a way I don’t like?
– Will the document take shape collaboratively in a beautiful and helpful way?
– Will the document just sit there and be ignored?
– Was this just a symbolic experience rather than one that will seem to go somewhere?
– Am I a jerk? Was I stupid for doing this? Should I never have shared it? (There’s my old friend attack.)
As these thoughts came to mind, I noticed that life is like this, seemingly full of these concerns. Can I trust those who look like other? What will happen? What if something happens that I don’t like?
I can see ego as the source of all of these questions. Who I really am doesn’t have any of these questions and doesn’t need to figure anything out. It doesn’t need to decide one way or the other about itself because there isn’t a one way or the other, and there isn’t a separate self.
The period following receiving this message and the beautiful invitation to share it in a way that could change it was an especially thick one. It was full of opportunities to go deep into trusting who I see as the other, with no exceptions.
An experience came to me that was a direct invitation into that trust. Someone from the homeschooling office called me to ask more from me regarding the paperwork I sent in. This has never happened before, and it was one of those tip-of-the-iceberg experiences to help me see that I feel massively threatened, that I believe the something from the outside can come in and disturb my peace.
It seemed to me as if my states’s (New York’s) homeschooling regulations were being ignored, and I felt a lot of turmoil about it. I felt a lot of self-protectiveness. I perceived myself as having rights, and it looked as though those rights were being trampled upon. If my rights are being trampled upon, though, I need a villain to do the trampling, and I already know that all I call villain come at my request. And I know deeply that she is not a villain. I know too much! I can’t forget how this really goes.
It took days and going into some deep fear, some deep idea of the separation between me and this one who seemed to come at me. And then I could finally see her as the helpful trigger that showed me how deep my mistrust of “other” goes, how much I believe that they (any they) could do something damaging or that would cause loss to me.
And just now, it snaps into place. Can the homeschooling report become a shared and editable document? Where would be the threat there? Can this experience teach me trust? Can this experience help me see beyond the idea of injustice that I’m supposed to fight and correct? Injustice comes complete with the concept of perpetrators. Can I let go of my need for perpetrators?
Can I finally face my own belief in myself as a horrible perpetrator, author of this world and therefore injustice? Can I see our shared authorship in the making of this world as simple confusion, total innocence always? Can I forgive? In forgiving, can I see that none of this is real and nothing has ever gone wrong? Can I see that it is not possible to trample upon God, and that I have never done such a thing? I may be dreaming about it, but I have never actually done it.
Can any document or any thing conceived as separate become a vehicle for sharing the Love that we Are?
A friend came to me yesterday and helped me cry out twenty tissues worth of fear. So much gratitude came in the wake of that. Let me see what is Real. Let me let go of the need to control anything that isn’t real.
When I first heard from the person at the homeschooling office, I told her I had to go home and think before I responded to her request. I went home and attempted to rest in calm and peace, but the answer I emailed to her didn’t come from that place. It came from analysis and comparison, and it was the best I was able to do at the time.
Now I can see that there is nothing to protect and nothing I have to fight. How I see “the other” is the most important thing, and if a simple request for more information is made, I can fulfill it. I can fulfill it in the spirit of seeing any other as what I Am, in the Spirit of seeing harmlessness everywhere. But I can’t fulfill it in calm and peace if I do perceive harm and threat–threat to perceived freedom. When I perceive harm, I have to sit in the sizzling until it calms down, until reason makes itself apparent. Reason uses everything in the world to help me–a friend to sit with me while I cry.
What is my freedom? More and more, I see that my freedom is in trust in what is Real over how things appear, and my freedom is in following guidance. Guidance always leads me to deep healing.
What about this document, this message that I received? I don’t know at all, and that feels wonderful! I’m not responsible for it. I’m responsible for my state of mind, and in my natural state of mind, I can see that I am connected to the one from the homeschooling office with nothing but love. Here’s the link, though, and if you feel inspired, please feel free to express there by adding, changing, or deleting.
A Course in Forgetting