You have been leaning upon judgment. As you become more willing to be happy, you also become more willing to notice and admit to pain. Any instance of any kind of pain is always caused by leaning upon judgment for security. Judgment promises security, but it has none to deliver. Judgment, delivered by ego, always causes pain. When it seems to cause pleasure, it just distracts temporarily from the pain that is inevitable. When you realize that accepting judgment from ego causes pain every time, ego’s judgmental thoughts lose their appeal.
In order to experience guilt, or any kind of mental or physical disturbance, you must believe two thoughts from ego presented to you in a cause-and-effect relationship. Think of ego’s thoughts as toys, and the putting together of various egoic thoughts in structures as playing with toys. When you play with toys, you make a separate identity for the one you call yourself, specifying what it is and what it is not. When you play with toys, you make separate identities for all those you call other, specifying what they are and what they are not. When you play with toys, you think that the past is real and that you can say sensible things about it by pasting together a collection of thoughts from ego. When you feel pain or discomfort or disquiet of any kind, it is an indicator that you have been playing with toys.
You become very childlike as you realize you are not capable of putting any two egoic thoughts together and making any sense. Something “else” enters the scene. It seems to be an authority, but it is not an authority that looms over you. It is you. This authority is unity. It is God. Remember that you made ego in order to deny God. Ego sends you a constant stream of thoughts distracting you from the beauty of God, distracting you from your safety in God, distracting you from your identity in God. Ego delivers experiences unto you indicating that you, separately, are a God because you seem to control separate things. All of this is fantasy, and fantasy that just does the job you assigned to it. It is fantasy designed to distract you from who you Are and always have been.
This something “else,” that really is you–this can send you thoughts, too. As you put down your toys, you do so because you realize that you have hurt yourself with them. Associating your toys–these thoughts from ego–with pain, you stop picking them up. And then these thoughts from Source are here for you, very simply. They will never fail to show up when you learn to stop your pain games. You stop your pain games when you see through them, when you see what is truly to your advantage.
In the interest of understanding your advantage, let’s get crude for a minute. “Big dick” is simultaneously a compliment and an insult. While it may be considered an advantage to have one, it isn’t considered an advantage to be one. “See through” is similar. We encourage you to “see through” the separate self in order to hear the thoughts that lead you to happiness, but we have to show you the different meanings of seeing through.
Any pain you experience is always based on your belief that the separate self–yours–is a hideous, ugly thing and must be kept hidden. If you are seeing other separate selves as the flawed ones, you are just delaying the discovery that the separate self you really hate is the one you call your own. You can’t hate any separate self without hating all of them. Yes, it seems as if you like some of them and dislike others. But they are only reflecting back to you the disquiet in your own mind. If you hate any one, you hate them all, and you hate the one you call yourself. How do you know this? If you are disturbed in any way by anything–that feeling of disquiet and resistance–that’s hatred. That’s the pushing away sensation that makes all the different things in your world look distinct from one another. You can feel it. And you can allow the feeling to go as you allow the unity of the One Self to guide you.
So back to the different ways of seeing through. You can “see through” the ugly, separate self as if you are using it like a pair of glasses. The separate self can be what you use to focus your sight, and when you do that, you use hatred to focus your sight. Remember, hatred is seeing things as separate. It was something that came at your request, but only because of confusion, never because of wrongdoing or flaw.
You can see through the separate self as if it is clear glass. You can have glass that focuses and determines what you see, or glass that is clear. We recommend the second one, because you have been looking through the wrong prescription and have a hell of a headache. When you keep looking upon distortion, it hurts. If anything ever bothers you, it is always, one hundred percent of the time, because you have been looking upon distortion. You switch over from the distorting glass to the clear glass simply by your decision.
Deciding for clarity, deciding to see through what looks separate as if it has never been broken up, you will be shown the way. You just can’t depend upon the old perceptions of separation to guide you. Don’t worry about that, because those old perceptions of separation were terrible guides. They always led to pain. Just be willing to be here and to be shown. Be willing to have the path light up in front of you. Remember that you and all are worthy of clear guidance. See through what you thought was real before. Allow it to become transparent, and nothing will block your way.
We love basking in the Light here with you.