Just turn left

There was a very first time in your life story that someone approached you as the source of disorder or conflict. They really saw you that way, and you believed them. You experienced yourself as separate, and you experienced yourself as a separate source of disorder and conflict.

From there, you did the same to another you regarded as separate. You blamed. It worked. People approached each other in blame, and they developed their stories about individual selves and individual others. From these first fearful and incorrect judgments, you built complicated webs of judgments, based on thought, that steered you through your life.

Even though another force was operating underneath all along, you had reasons. You had reasons for doing this, and reasons for doing that, and you made those primary in your awareness. Your reasons inevitably had to sort people, experiences and events into bad and good piles.

You decided what was bad. You decided what to resist. You put time and effort into resisting certain, individual things that you labeled. When you label, you believe you understand.

Notice the shift into present tense. Notice the labeling. Notice the sense that one has understood.

You decided that you had goals. You pursued your goals with a projected outcome of an individual you succeeding. All along, the neutral forces of attraction and repulsion called you here and away from there.

These neutral forces of attraction and repulsion continue to guide you. When you have ignored the call of attraction, the force of repulsion comes in and becomes more prominent so you can hear. It’s for you.

When you experience repulsion, it’s always for you. It’s never because some outside circumstance is wrong or someone is bad or you yourself are not good enough. When you experience repulsion, it’s because the call of attraction is there, too. When you answer the call of attraction, the force of repulsion doesn’t need to arise as more prominent.

If we learn to respect repulsion when it becomes more prominent, we can just become more curious about where we are called. We may be called to different place or a different activity. We may be called on an inward journey that leaves us right where we are, but walking though rings of fear to truly experience what is in front of us.

Acting in partnership with the force of repulsion means not taking what that guiding force is telling you and projecting it out on anything else. For example, “I’m feeling this strong pushing away sense because the weather is not good. I’m feeling this because I’m tired. I’m feeling this because that person shouldn’t be acting like that. I’m feeling this because I’ve made so many mistakes and am never going to get out of this mess. I’m feeling this because what I have is not good enough right now.”

Each time you find an outside explanation for that repulsion, you fight the flow that would carry you where attraction calls you. When you turn left to reach your destination, you don’t bemoan how you’re abandoning right or speak loudly about how right just wasn’t good enough for you. You just turn left.

Photo by N. on Unsplash

 

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