You're coming to know and recognize an energy that doesn't feel good, and this is very much to your advantage. It feels like a clamping down. It is the energy of insisting on the reality of your physical world, the one you make through attachment to a sense of separate, conflicted and vulnerable self. The special effects are great here! It's very convincing, but once you no longer fully believe in it, the energy you use to hold it in place begins to be experienced as disturbance. This is very good, because it points to what is bigger than that, what you want to move forward into your experience--your true identity in a shared self of love with all others. 

You are never improving yourself. You are simply remembering who you are, and as you do so, it gets easier. It seems harder right before you break through into another layer of remembrance, and then it gets easier again. Layer after layer after layer. We're going to encourage you to keep moving through into remembrance.