Reactivity is something that is easy to encounter and to judge in others. When you believe you see reactivity in others, it is an echo of your own past momentum. If you like how it feels and wish to continue with this type of experience, then judging others is a good idea.
If you’re ready for release from the cycle of reactivity, however, receive any reactivity that looks like it’s coming to you as a neutral wave from the past. As long as you don’t plunge into the heart of it and get lost, your future will reflect love back to you, not conflict. If you experience reactivity in your life, it doesn’t mean you have failed. It means you are experiencing a wonderful opportunity for release and transformation.
Think of the cross. When something appears to assail you from the outside, if you simply stay in that centered spot where the time-based and limited (represented by the horizontal part of the cross) meets the infinite (represented by the vertical), your future reflects the infinite rather than the limited. This means that you are equipping yourself for future response to past waves. It will be much easier to respond (coming from the infinite, from love) rather than to react (coming from the limited and defined).
Every time you experience reactivity from another, you have an opportunity to see the other in the light of gratitude, the light that unites you. Because they are reflecting your past choices to you, you have a chance now to choose response and love over reactivity and conflict. The other is truly doing a service in playing this role of conflict until you set it down. Think of waves rolling up on a beach. You set conflict down, and then one wave or two from the past approach. If you receive them in the light of gratitude, they simply roll back out again. There is nothing to cling to there.
When you set conflict down and then don’t react as one wave comes in, and then two, you release this very helpful role-player from the need to wake you up to the choice to set down reactivity. You thank the role-player silently. You see the true service they have done you in helping you confront feelings you had buried because you didn’t want to feel them. You see how everything floated up to the surface for the release of separate identity and conflicted will, and now you get to see how you are releasing the role-player from their obligation to you. This means the role-players are one step closer to remembering their own identities in unity. In recognizing the service they have always done for you, you do role-players a loving service.
Role-players who come to us with the gift of reactivity play a vital role in our awakening, and they always deserve our thanks. How can we receive them in love? We can find the ways that they are right. We can consider their perspective, set down the useless need to defend a separate self that doesn’t actually exist, and simply see where we can agree and appreciate. We can listen. The language might be new to us:
“I see what you mean.”
“Yes, I see how you’re right about me. I did A, B & C.”
“Thank you for sharing that with me.”
“I really appreciate that you took the time to show me how you see it and to share how you feel.”
“I see your point. I’m sorry about that.”
If our reactor-reflections seem to have a lot to say, we can ask the role-players what they would like to see changed or if they have any suggestions. We can listen, knowing there’s no obligation to please or obey anyone, but just in the act of receiving information from our reactor-reflections we may benefit in ways we cannot see yet.
Every time we can reach a point of genuine appreciation and gratitude for what our divine siblings are enacting in their reactivity–reflections of our own dependence on separate identity and conflicting wills–we can see them as holding conflict and struggle up to the light for us to see clearly. What do we choose? We get to choose in every moment. When we receive the gifts of awareness they are giving us, we allow the energy of transformation into our collective experience.
This is why everything everyone does always serves the whole. It’s either a helpful reflection of the dysfunction we have chosen in the past, so we remember to choose love in every moment, or it’s a reflection of our joy and connectedness. Thank everyone you meet today, because everyone is playing a divine role in this drama that carries us Home.