“Do you want to set that bag of rocks down yet?”
Why, yes. Yes, I do.
This is what I hear as I find myself agonizing about what to say to my 12-year-old son, wondering if he feels loved, panicking because I’m not finding anything to say as he comes to the kitchen to forage, thinking I should be better.
By now, I should know. And I do know. I am coming to know.
“Do you feel the peace there?”
I switch my focus. I do feel the peace there, and I haven’t said a word.
Under the surface, it’s all right. He’s all right. Everything’s all right. I can see that. I can feel it. Now I know that if anyone comes to me perceiving that the surface and our experiences here are not okay, it’s what comes from that deep well of okayness through me that is the appropriate response to the situation. Response, not reaction.
Here comes the tap-tap on my brain. A lesson wants to speak itself to me, so I’m switching over to the inner teacher voice to learn more.
Everything is more than all right under the surface. Everything under the surface, the All of the All, the true reality, is always gloriously okay. It’s always much, much bigger than the experience you have drawn to yourself on the surface.
Play with that energy. The experience you have created for yourself on the surface. It’s not real life, this experience you have created for yourself on the surface as you picked up fear and built a separate and vulnerable self out of it.
Look toward that inner light, which is much bigger than you and your experiences, and see how successful you have been in removing the blockage of that false self. Light shining through everywhere!
So yes, you still agonize and have a very believable experience of separate-youness, but can you see how flimsy it is now? You have consistently and persistently looked toward the flimsiest thing there could possibly be–fear–and made a very real-seeming experience out of it. Think of all the effort it takes to maintain all that fear, lack of trust, and pushing away from what you believe to be real and separate things.
Do you want to put that bag of rocks down now?
Look at all your fellow humans. Look at the light shining through them. See the reality of who they are through all the fear and separation. See the ones in your life now–the teachers who will bring you back into full awareness of who you are. See all humans across time and space. See the light.
It seems pretty easy to put that bag of rocks down now, doesn’t it? All you really needed was to know that you are safe in order to stop your fretting. Look at the immensity of that safety. Feel it. Live it.
*This* is what you want to give to your son, and the only way to do that is to live it, not by using effort to try to be what worried-you (false you made of fear) thinks he lacks. He lacks nothing. He is All, truly. Every separate one is All, and you are all joined under that very thin surface.
Allow the harmony to supply you with your smiles and conversation. Allow the silence to heal you, to open up the conduits to inspiration. Feel the joy of the inspiration when it comes. Relax into it.
Know that you are always loved and held in safety, and so is everyone else. Your seeing and knowing that, deeply, will always supply you with any words and action that are needed.
It is a change, allowing the words and action to come from the whole rather than from one you perceive to be a separate you. Celebrate and enjoy the freedom of that change. The only one leaving here is fear–the fear that never actually was.
The only thing leaving is a false perception. Let it go, and you’ll see others truly. When you see others truly, there is never–without exception, no matter how dramatic the situation may seem on the surface–any situation in which worry is a real and worthy guide. The love that you are (our unity, what everyone actually is)–allow that to guide you.
People will feel that you are genuine when you come to them from who you (collectively) truly are. You will be speaking to them and interacting with them from their very own self–the joined self of Love. There is a call deep within every separated one to Trust that.
This thing you think your kids want from you–that is precisely what they are yearning after. It’s what all yearning is. It’s the remembrance of Home. If you allow that to embody you fully, there’s no greater gift you could give to them.