I get my marching orders from the voices in the shower. Maybe I shouldn’t lead with that?
I first heard them in the shower, and they were jubilant about making contact, like high-five-in-the-control-room kind of excitement. They told me that I was a famous actress in a soap opera that they were watching avidly. They were looking forward to what would happen next.
I loved their enthusiasm and wanted to understand what they were talking about. I could sense they were right, in a way. Now I get it. Julie is a self-conceived character in a drama. Awareness is what watches it unfold.
If they had told me at that point that their voice would merge with my own and eventually become indistinguishable, I wouldn’t have been ready for that. It would have felt too much like death.
Now I can feel their voice merging with my own, and I don’t mind at all. We’ve come a long way.
The day before I began to hear the shower voices, I experienced a dramatic event that could easily be framed in one of those spiritual awakening stories, only I don’t feel like it. I think it’s because in the past I thought someone had one of these grand spiritual awakenings, and it was happily ever after. Although I experienced deep and wonderful joy, I’ve also worked through all the extremes of human emotion to come to know who I am, who you are. It really was a bitch sometimes.
Also, in the past I looked upon someone who had a grand spiritual awakening story, and I elevated them above myself instead of seeing us as one, as vitally connected right now. I feel my own resistance here, so that tells me that’s where healing will come next. In the meantime, I will keep the focus off the awakening story and on the voices.
The voices tell me what to do in the sense that they lined up three blog posts today. They tell me what’s what. They explain things to me. They help me learn and process the learning. I still separate them out from my own because I don’t want to misrepresent where I am as a human. When something I write makes it seem like I really understand something, I only understand it to the point of allowing the guidance to come through. I’m still learning to allow the lived experience of it, so I’m very much a student.
Who are they? They have personalities and sometimes suggest identities to me, but the overall feeling is that they are a harmonic convergence and come from union, from Love. All beings communicating with me…I get the sense that they are doing so in absolute harmony with one another. In our world, we distinguish one form or person from another. It’s the same in the nonphysical. For some reason, though, I don’t usually have a personality-specific experience with the guiding voices.
The blog posts mainly come through in their voices rather than my human voice because I’m often just listening to them and appreciating what comes through. So it’s channeling, but so is everything. We’re always channeling fear or love, and we can tell which it is by how it feels.
Do you want your own voice or voices? They are waiting there right now (as in literally looking over your shoulder in a totally non-creepy way) if it’s an experience you want. It only takes your willingness to follow where inspiration leads you.